i always thought that if i lived in a rural, quiet, removed place that time would somehow slow down.
let it be known
this is not the case.
i do not know where this last week has gone.
perhaps it got lost in thinking about
all of the many things that we have to do.
we're all learning here about how on earth to set-up a csa,
where the local farmers markets are (and the requirements for each individual market),
the steps involved in certifying our planting practices as organic,
working on campaigns for farm workers' rights and the new sanctuary movement..
and then we're also making all these choices about our home
and the ways that we want to live as a house/collective/group of compassionate friends.
the feeling of being overwhelmed hasn't really dissipated,
it's just spread or migrated into new places.
like this afternoon we came home
and our house was full of 8 people
all trying to help and prepare things for this weekend,
but it felt like chaos and insanity and headaches and reallyreally claustrophobic.
and i'm realizing that
i have so much to learn about communal living and hospitality.
but i have teachers!
oh my sisterfriends.
who are really starting to feel a lot more like friends.
already it feels strange when i haven't seen one of them in a few hours.
and we're getting to know each other on a one-on-one level
(which is really the only way that i know how to make friends).
like traveling to pasadena and learning about farm workers' rights with sarah.
like taking walks and planning farmers market trips with katerina.
like doing weight training and working on the website with erynn.
i like them all. (and our mutual love is very obvious in all that we do for one another).
not much solitude this week.
hoping to making more time for that
and for reflection.
i ran away to town on wednesday night
because i wanted to pop a bag of popcorn at home,
sneak it (and some carbonated water) into a movie theater,
and see district 9 on the big screen.
though this place truly is becoming "home,"
i am so looking forward to seeing old friends again this weekend
and to meghan janssen's visit! my first friend to see my new home! :)
oh, but you can see it here:
and if you want to stop by the farmers market tomorrow morning,
in either watts or lamert,
you'll see us there with south central farms!
continue to be well, friends.
and read everything is illuminated
and a heartbreaking work of staggering genius
because they are honest and hard and magical and ohwillyoulaugh.
Friday, August 14, 2009
(new post first post!)
and this is it and we're here!
by we, i mean katerina, sarah b., cristy rose, erynn, and i.
we're all moved into our farmhouse
which is quite a lot more like a 60's dreamhouse
with sparkles in the ceiling
and pull-out cutting boards
and big-bulbed vanities
and blue, velour armchairs.
i know that it is good to be here.
i am reminded daily in good, growing conversations
and meeting such friendly faces
and feeling the sun
(but not the heat)
and smelling the ocean
and picking oranges from the tree in the backyard.
this morning was spent dreaming really big
about all the hopes we have
for the house
for our little farm-to-be
for what a "simple little life" mightcouldmaybe look like.
i can already see a lot of change within myself.
this is a place where we are not only caring for the earth,
but also for each other
and our neighbors
and ohsomuch for ourselves.
like centering prayer on tuesday nights!
and having spanish and salsa saturdays
(salsa for the eating and salsa for the dancing)
and liturgical worship sunday evenings
and running/walking together
and cooking healthyhealthy local
and sharing really honestly about ourselves
(which is a lot scarier than i had imagined
because we're still kind of strange and new to one another
and even to ourselves)
and advocating for our friends the farm workers.
it's a whole lot.
and i can't deny the fact that i've been really overwhelmed
and felt lost
but we keep talking about reflection
and moving from loneliness to solitude
(and i'm thinking about how that is a choice)
and that feels so incredibly hopeful.
so here i/we are
in oxnard, right on the border of camarillo
a mile from the navy base
on the coast
on the farm
with the avocado trees in the front.
come! or don't!
i love you (and me?) no matter what!
there are reasons for you to be where you are
and for me to be here.
we'll share prayers and/or thoughts often.
oh and i'll be seeing you
and writing again real soon.
all five of us can be read additionally at: